Spring Goat Cart and Contemplating Life at This Moment

I started out wanting to share my French-y goat cart filled with tulips and forsythia, but then I started writing and this post just tumbled out. I'm just a bundle of emotions this last few weeks. It's not the staying home that is the problem because I haven't been out a lot this last 9 months, but I guess it's the idea that we can't, and all the unknowns that go with that. I want to be honest here, and not put on a happy "mask". I think the last thing we all need is being made to feel like the emotions we are dealing with are wrong or inconsequential. Some of us are doing good and handling it in stride, but if you're having a difficult time that's OK too. We shouldn't be afraid to admit it.

Last Spring I was tired, but excited to be here at the new house and looking forward to getting things finished up and life "back to normal". I'm not sure why I focused on that idea, since nothing in my life has been normal for years. I started this inability to get a deep breath in June, but passed it off as the hiatal hernia I've been living with for years. It just kept getting worse and worse, and I went from doctor to doctor trying to figure it out. I've been through this scenario before, so it was like the "same song; different verse". I know many of you have had the same type situation; if not your health, maybe it's a relationship, finances, or any number of life elements. I'm not dwelling on this, just want you to know it's okay to be a little down and overwhelmed during all of this.

So... I'm feeling a little at loose ends, having the stress of a major surgery on top of a pandemic. Sounds almost funny, and my husband and I have had some hilarious discussions on some unlikely topics. Thank goodness for the ability to laugh and share a moment with those we love. I realize that the lack of control is basically the issue that we all are dealing with. Well, that with a little "what if", and fear mixed in. When we think about it though, there aren't many things in life that we actually do have total control over. I love this vintage church fan because it reminds me of Who is in control, and that we can count on Him, to lead us and get us through.

I've brought out some of my Spring and Easter things, but I can't do much at a time without feeling like my neck is made of spikes. Thank you to those of you who have told me about your friend or family member that has had this same surgery. I'm looking forward to feeling better. I know it will take a while, but I'm looking for things to improve. I guess you could call me a "reluctant optimist". Sometimes I feel bummed, but I always choose the positive over the negative... eventually. I'm the person who looks at the glass with water and doesn't say "half full" or "half empty", but thinks about whether or not I'm actually thirsty.

I think the last time I was out to Hobby Lobby or Michaels was in the Fall. I haven't bought anything decor for Spring (faux flowers or Easter goodies) since I haven't been driving except to get my hair cut, which I will crawl over glass to get to. Some things you just have to do.

I used what I had with the yellow tulips and faux forsythia. My vintage paper mache bunny is a little scratched up over the years, but he's still such a cutie. I had tried using a green moss bunny here, but it disappeared among the yellow tulips. So, he's hopping around somewhere else.

This is a snap of the forsythia shrubs out back. They had been trimmed to an inch of their life last year, so they still have a way to go. I'd love to bring some indoors, but I cannot risk a sore throat problem with allergies. I've already been told I will have a severe sore throat and inability to talk for a bit after the surgery, so I'll enjoy blooms from a distance.

OK, I've shared some thoughts, but nothing that I know many of you haven't thought about also. I tried to keep it inside and to myself, but I just couldn't put out pretty pictures without being real. We're all going to hang in there together, pray for each other, and be honest with ourselves. If you haven't read my post from last week about what's going on, you can click Here.

Love to you all,